I turned thirty years old
yesterday. The first words that came to mind when Sara (my
roommate/friend/missionary sister) asked me how I felt was that I have ad a good
life. We both started laughing because for a moment it sounded as if I was 95
years old and had had a plethora of life experience I was looking back at and
reflecting on. But that is honestly how I truly feel. I have had a good life.
Sure, I’ve seen my fair share of suffering and had some suffering of my own –
but in the midst of all that, the one thing I can attest to with 100%
conviction is that the goodness God has blessed me with far outweighs any
measure of difficulty. Even in the midst of sorrow, He has brought forth beauty
and goodness, showing me over and over again how He has conquered the world (John 16:33)
and that my life is in the Almighty hands of Infinite Goodness, Perfect Love.
This past week we had
the CSU (Catholic Student Union) from FSU come and serve/journey with us. To be
honest I was very tired on our way to pick them up at the airport in
Port-au-Prince since we’ve had groups come back to back since January aside
from other ministry events. My focus was more geared on being able to get
through the week as opposed to looking forward to journeying with people that
God was leading here. But thankfully, by His grace, despite my being tired, the
Lord quickly reminded me that His power is made perfect in weakness. On our 3-4
hours truck ride to the base I was able to get over my being tired and my eyes
were quickly opened to the beauty of the young men and women He gifted me with
this week. Right off the bat, I started having deep and substantial
conversations with different members from the group.
The depth and beauty
of the human soul is pretty astounding once you take the time to actually
listen and ponder the magnificent ways the Lord writes each story with such
delicacy, attention to detail, sense of adventure, twists and turns - a perfect
picture reflecting His redeeming and transformative love. It’s amazing. Words
don’t do it justice.
I felt as if in big
ways and little ways God used this last week in my 20’s as a reminder of all he
has done in my life. It was a week jam packed with prayer, communal life,
sharing the Gospel, sharing my life story and getting to hear others’ stories,
taking care of people who were sick/injured, dancing, singing, traveling,
playing with little kids, great coffee, flowers, and the Lord even brought a
fellow Texan here for me to be able to relate to :)
I am one thankful girl.
I am excited for what the next thirty years have in store. I am excited for
what is to come. I am excited to jump back into nursing full time and one day
go back to school. I am excited to see friends and family. I am excited for
entering into my vocation - I have no clue of when that will happen but I feel
that is something the Lord is working on.
I know leaving Haiti
will be very difficult. As the time draws near for me to return to the United
States, my heart is keenly aware of the pain it will go through from leaving
people that I love, people that have a piece of my heart. But I was once told,
or I read it somewhere, that if you really love a person, pain is inevitable, and
that means you loved well. I sure hope so.
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| Akrin, little girl at Fr. Deu's monastery/orphanage. LOVE her. |
