"Live humbly, Love radically": “Put out unto the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” Luke 5:4

So the gospel according to Luke, chapter 5 verses 1 through 11, narrates the story of the calling of Simon Peter, James & John. I’d encourage you to take 5 minutes and read through it. As I was reflecting on the past 10 days since I’ve been in Haiti, this was the story that came to mind. I read through it again and it became clear why it’s so applicable to my first few days on mission in Haiti.

Jesus gets in Simon’s boat

I find this pretty comical. Here is Simon minding his own business when this Jesus character invades his space. He just gets in Simon’s boat, tells him where to take the boat and starts preaching. How did Simon feel? Was he annoyed? Perplexed? Curious? Suspicious? Afraid? All of the above? In a way, that’s kind of how I feel sometimes when the Lord steps into my boat in a way I did not expect and at a time I did not plan to receive him. When the opportunity to discern living in Haiti as a missionary came up, my life was going pretty well. I was working full-time at a pediatric ER as nurse and I had finally gotten the hang of the fast-paced rhythm of the unit. I was part of a wonderful ministry called The Shepherd’s Café. I was blessed with having time in community with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal in Ft. Worth. I was part of a young adult charismatic prayer group, Upper Room. I was living with 2 of my dearest friends with whom I shared a wonderful home. I was praying about my vocation (marriage/family) and thought that maybe I had met the person I might be called to be in a relationship with and I all I had to do is pray a little harder and wait a little longer. But as life would have it, Jesus stepped into my boat.

Jesus tells Simon (an experienced fisherman) how to do his job

With Simon, Jesus told him to put out his nets for a catch just a little off from the shore. Simon questioned Jesus and explained how he had been working all night and had caught nothing. Simon could have refused what Jesus instructed but he chose to follow His lead. Serving as a missionary in a developing country has been a desire in my heart for a long time. Jesus stepped into my boat and asked me to pray about an opportunity to serve him in Haiti. What I didn’t expect was the timing of his invitation and the surrender it would entail. Leaving people that I care for is very difficult. Leaving my job in the ER where I had learned so much regarding pediatric nursing and where I had grown so much as a person was surprisingly difficult. Leaving the “almost maybe” possibility of being in a romantic relationship and what in my mind was “delaying” entering into my vocation (I know that’s not true, it’s just how I felt) was difficult. Having to depend on the Lord financially in everyway was a bit daunting, even scary. Toss in my own insecurities and uncertainties; praying through this invitation was a challenge. But deep down at the very core of me I knew that this invitation is something I had been praying and waiting for, and the only thing holding me back from saying yes would be fear. So now here I am, living in Haiti as a full-time missionary and I can honestly say that - I love it. There is a lot I don’t know. Just like Simon didn’t know where the fish would come from, and how he would even catch them when he knew as seasoned fishermen that the spot Jesus was telling to let down his net was not optimal (by human reason, not by the Lord’s wisdom/perspective). I know that the medical mission will happen. I don’t know the logistics of it all yet but I know it’s possible and the Lord will provide. I know I am called to marriage/family, I don’t know who/when/how but the Lord does and even though it’s hard to wait I know God is faithful to his promises. I don’t know my exact role within the community but I do know I am called to live in community and to love in community – I believe my role will flow from my trying to be faithful to those two commitments.

Jesus provides Simon and his companions with more than what they expected or believed he could do

If you read the passage in Luke, you’ll know that Simon caught so much fish when he followed Jesus’ instructions that the boat nearly sank. I have been here 10 days and I have:

· Witnessed two first communions
· Witnessed a beautiful wedding
· Witnessed a baptism
· Prayed for 2 people receiving the sacrament of reconciliation for the first time
· Walked for 2 hours (all the while singing, dancing and praying) with over 100 teenagers to a church so we could gather for a talk, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and praise & worship
· Visited St. Therese hospital and prayed with 4 different children and their parents
· Made an assessment alongside a wonderful cardiologist (Dr. Tim Byrne) for one of the children who has a heart defect, noticed this child also had something particular in his speech patterns and ended up finding a speech pathologist through Fr. Louis Merosne (our priest at the mission base), the speech pathologist was able to meet with the child and his father yesterday morning for an assessment and he will now start sessions to address his speech
· Talked with several people who are interested and want to help with a medical mission in Haiti branching out of our mission base
· Received generous financial donations from people all the way from Switzerland that I have never met
· Learned more about communication and living in community
· Spent time with some of the Life Teen board members and was blessed by their encouragement and fatherly care
· Enjoyed laughing/praying/crying/talking/growing with my missionary sister Sara Vasile
· Had the opportunity to attend daily mass
· Had fruitful and blessed conversations with Fr. Louis
· Learned a little more Creole (I understand more than I can speak but it’s a start)
· Started playing guitar again (I will learn how to play for real, I won’t give up this time)
· Got to take of someone who got hit in the forehead with a rock (I would have loved to had dermabond in hand but I used steri strips and it healed pretty nicely)
· Got to give Joe (an elderly gentlemen that lives across the street for our base) a new mattress, sheets and a pillow and watched him cry with joy and praise God at receiving this gift (he lives in a little hut and slept on a mat on the floor)

Truly the list could be much longer, but I don’t want to make this blog longer than it already is (thanks if you have actually read this far, you’re a trooper J)

Simon Peter, John & James to leave everything and follow Him

There are plenty of things that I still need to “leave” behind in order to follow the Lord more freely & fully. For example I know I need to embrace humility (leaving behind pride), and trust in God (not giving in to doubt). But I know that if I try to be faithful, little by little, it’s the Lord himself that will infuse his grace into my heart and that will allow me to leave what needs to be left behind. As of now, I have in some ways left fear behind. And that allowed me to say yes and embark on the journey I’m currently in.

So, praise God for these past 11 days. And thank you so much for your continued prayers & financial support. Until next time, Paola J