Wisdom Teeth Rant - or should I be Thankful?

So I got my wisdom teeth (a whopping 4 teeth, 2 of 'em were impacted) surgically removed this past Wednesday. OH MY GOODNESS. I have not had any major surgery since I was 6 years old. Getting 4 teeth taken out of my mouth has proven to be more difficult than I anticipated.

The actual surgery was not the issue, I was under anesthesia for that part, it's more the post-op days that have hit me like a Mac truck. I knew I would have to eat things like pudding, ice cream and mashed potatoes. I knew I would of be out-of-commission as far as work goes, I knew I would be on bed rest so I could fully recover....but I didn't know how the combination of all these things would affect me.

I grew tired of eating mushy things by day 2. I am still avoiding solid foods but I every time I head to the fridge, the thought of my options (pudding, yogurt, soup, apple sauce) make me feel like a 5-year old being forced to eat brussels sprouts.

My first 2 days of lounging on the couch & watching movies were ok. But after that, I began getting cabin fever. I wanted to break free! I yearned to go for a walk, to start packing my clothes (to get ready for my move back to ATL), to do something that required movement.  So alas, here I am on day 4 after the surgery and I had to miss work tonight because I am still not fully recovered :(

In the midst of all this whining- I feel like the Lord has been trying to speak to me. A consistent thought has been "thankful." Like God has been telling me, "Ok, I know you are tired, I know you are hurting, I know you are frustrated...but take a minute to really look at your current situation and tell me what you are thankful for." BOOM. I think the Lord has been saying that over and over since I began growing frustration instead of thankfulness.

There are a vast number of things for me to be thankful for! Way more than for me to whine about.
Here are a few:

1. The surgery went well, no complications
2. My friend Rachel took almost a whole day off from work so she could take care of me
3. My friend Becca got me a slew of movies so I could watch
4. Becca also bought me a yummy smoothie from Jamba Juice & she visited me
5. I've gotten calls from family & friends checking in on me
6. I have a house I can rest at
7. I have a job that can pay for my health insurance so I could get the surgery
8. I have food to eat
9. I was able to get the surgery before moving to Haiti
10. Being the "patient" instead of the nurse is teaching me way more in the way of compassion, it is s easy to forget how our physical bodies can take a toll on our emotional well-being

So, yes - there is plenty to be thankful for.

After realizing this my immediate temptation is to become frustrated with myself for getting frustrated and not being thankful and not being good enough etc....and to this I must stand firm and say "NO!" I can stand in my Heavenly Father's unconditional love for me, the infinite patience He has for me. And you know what, even when I can't stand, I can very well fall on my knees and know He has me.

I think in times like these where my heart is being molded & refined, God looks at me with tenderness. He does not look at me with condemnation. God does want me to see how the posture of my heart needs to change, but He does not want me to wallow in self-pity when I realize I make a mistake. He shows me these things (in this case, how I can embrace a posture of thankfulness) so I can grow in His likeness and so I can better receive His love.